(Cross-posted to
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dingsis_notebook)
Snippet taken from an IJ entry written in November 2008, but never posted.---
I have the tendency to pile up HUGE stashes of various documents and papers (and photographs and magazines and bills and the stray book and and and). I used to try and sort them all at once during a day reserved for this activity, but only ended up with three smaller piles and the feeling that the task was too daunting. And it was. I made it so.
A few weeks ago, I did a complete relabeling of my binders, structuring them by subject (e.g. work, healthcare) and chronologically. Not using all of them right away, but moving some of the already filed papers if necessary, and creating a system for further use. And I put them in a place where I could easily see and grab them in a moment's notice. Same for the hole puncher, which I placed visibly on the table. And instead of sitting in front of huge piles of documents and feeling intimidated, I started filing them away little by little. One or three or ten a day, or ten a week. Instead of "take a whole day and sort this shit even if it kills you", I now think "if you see a piece of paper lying around, and can assess in which binder it belongs, take a few seconds to file it away".
And it helps. It helps because it's just a few seconds and the task itself isn't daunting anymore. Of course there's still this massive backlog I have to work on, but I know I will have it sorted out
in the long run. Which makes me feel better. I also noticed that now I am far more likely to put away
new papers immediately.
A few of you might wonder what the big deal is. Understandably so, because I think strategies like these are simply common sense for most people. But not for me. I've always been a very chaotic person, I'm still terrible at household chores, cleaning, dusting off, stuff like that. My room generally looks like a mess most of the time and I get easily distracted (while feeling guilty about not being able to do things better). So, for me, changing my tactics and trying to get things done in a way that relieved my stress, and allowing myself to think that this was okay, is a big step.
(Besides, even though I have no doubt that countless individuals have blogged about this, I had the idea all on my own and
without someone from outside telling me to do something about the effing stacks of paper. So I'm a little proud of myself.)
---
Update:
I still use the technique described above, and there are noticeable results: several bags of waste paper thrown away, finding documents I thought to have been lost, and displacing things less often in general. Over the recent months, I started applying it to the kitchen as well, cleaning and re-organizing it little by little. It's starting to show - cooking is more fun now, and even my Mom made a remark today how much better everything looked.
I still struggle with guilt sometimes that things are taking me so long, or that I needed years to acquire basic housekeeping skills that others pick up early or with ease. It makes me feel small, lazy, stupid. I feel like I shouldn't even mention it, as if it was the equivalent of boasting that you can use the potty.
I consciously remind myself:
1. People have different levels of tolerance; some are very orderly and clean their house weekly to feel comfortable while others when faced with the same amount of dirt or clutter wouldn't mind.
2. My depression and anxiety have caused problems before when it comes to my energy level in general, and I had to re-learn caring for myself at all
. I'm reluctant to even mention it because so often it's being dismissed as a lazy excuse, but I want to keep in mind that it IS a factor in my life that makes some things harder than they ought to be.
3. For fuck's sake, self: I'M MAKING PROGRESS. Yes, it's a slow process, but it beats doing nothing. Obviously.![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
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dreamlittleyo (Kirk/Spock) This was very hot , sad in some ways, and I loved the character voices.
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hopeful